Monday, 27 August 2012

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

On a scale of Return to the King to Spider-Man 3, how does this final act match up?

It has been eight years since Batman vanished into the night, turning, in that instant, from hero to fugitive. Assuming the blame for the death of D.A. Harvey Dent, the Dark Knight sacrificed everything for what he and Commissioner Gordon both hoped was the greater good. For a time the lie worked, as criminal activity in Gotham City was crushed under the weight of the anti-crime Dent Act. But everything will change with the arrival of a cunning cat burglar with a mysterious agenda. Far more dangerous, however, is the emergence of Bane, a masked terrorist whose ruthless plans for Gotham drive Bruce out of his self-imposed exile. But even if he dons the cape and cowl again, will Batman be a match for Bane?

Thursday, 23 August 2012

101 Dalmatians (1996) & 102 Dalmatians (2000)

Trying to lick your balls is a better way to pass the time

101 Dalmatians (1996)

Fashion designer Anita (Joely Richardson) and computer-game writer Roger (Jeff Daniels) meet, fall in love and marry along with their dalmatians Perdita and Pongo. But the proud dogs' puppies are kidnapped by Anita's boss Cruella De Vil (Glenn Close), who is stealing young dalmatians to make the coat she has set her heart on. Enlisting the help of the British animal kingdom, Pongo and Perdita set out to find and rescue all ninety-nine pups from their fearsome captors, Jasper (Hugh Laurie) and Horace (Mark Williams).

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Scream 3 (2000)

Scream: The Third or Scream: The Turd?

3 years after the murders at Windsor College, Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) has gone into isolation. But masked killer Ghostface returns to kill the cast members of Hollywood film 'Stab 3', leaving behind pictures of Sidney's mother, Maureen Prescott, forcing Sidney to come out of hiding.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star (2011)

Born to suck (Insert pornographic joke here)

A small-town manchild with big buck-teeth, Bucky Larson (Nick Swardson), stumbles upon a family secret: His quiet and reserved parents were famous porn stars in the 1970s. This motivates him to leave northern Iowa for Hollywood, hoping to follow in their footsteps and fulfill his destiny as the biggest adult-film star in the world. Unfortunately, he has no idea how to become a porn star like his parents, and his penis is incredibly small.

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Trailer Overload #2: Thunder Down Under

Welcome to the second edition of Trailer Overload. In this edition: Teenage looking models vs the invading Korean army, the 1st Duke of Suffolk discovers he's not from Earth, Anton Chigurh targets Dame Judy Dench and Paul Rudd examines his balls while Leslie Mann lies about her age.

Friday, 10 August 2012

The Change-Up (2011)

Getting freaky, but not on a Friday

Dave Lockwood (Jason Bateman) is an overworked lawyer and family man who feels his life is horrible. Mitch Planko Jr. (Ryan Reynolds) is an actor with practically no job and does nothing but get high all day. Mitch, who feels that he and Dave have been drifting apart over the years, makes plans for him and Dave to go to a bar and watch a football game. Dave is jealous of Mitch's life, as he feels that he grew up too fast and wishes to experience the care-free life that Mitch has. Mitch tells Dave that he is jealous of the loving family and financially stable job Dave has acquired. While urinating into a fountain, they simultaneously wish that they had each other lives. The next morning, they both awake to find they have swapped bodies.